Surrogacy Options for Gay Couples

For gay couples who desire kids, there are different paths toward starting a family, including foster care, adoption, and surrogacy. Each of these has legal and financial costs attached. Many gay couples choose to go the surrogacy way. Surrogacy can be a lengthy and expensive process, and it's important to understand what is required before starting the process. 

Key Takeaways

• Surrogacy, or the use of a third party to carry a pregnancy to term, is a great option for cases where a natural pregnancy is not an option for a variety of reasons.
• Gestational carriers, also known as surrogates, are matched to prospective parents through agencies or through existing relationships to provide the highest likelihood of a safe, healthy pregnancy.
• While there are no laws on the books in the US prohibiting surrogacy services for gay couples, some states have more progressive laws and views than others when it comes to LGBTQ+ parenting.

What Is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is the process where a couple starts their family using a female carrier who chooses to carry their pregnancy to term. Surrogacy is one of the two main ways gay couples can start a family, and adoption is the other. 

In surrogacy, the woman can choose to either only carry the child or also but also contribute their own egg(s). If they choose to also donate their eggs, However, many couples would prefer a different egg donor just to avoid any legal complications that could potentially arise. In most cases, the egg donor is used to help create embryos, which are then transferred to a gestational carrier’s uterus.

How Does Surrogacy Work?

Surrogacy can be a lengthy process as it takes time to choose the right one. Additionally, the couple has to spend time with the surrogate to get to know them better before settling for them. This person will be a key player in your life for some time, and the trust-based relationship you'll form is a wonderful perk of the surrogacy process.

Some insurance plans may cover some or all of these expenses, but each person’s situation is unique. Many fertility clinics like NOVA IVF offer various family-building options based on your preferences.  

Gestational Surrogacy Costs

Surrogacy costs differ from state to stat,e and each gestational agency outlines its costs. However, it can be quite costly, ranging anywhere from $30,000 to upward of $100,000 to complete the whole process. This includes legal costs, IVF or IUI, surrogacy compensation, and hospital costs for birthing care. 

Choosing a Gestational Surrogate

Selecting the right surrogate boils down to personal preferences. Couples can either choose an independent surrogate or go with a surrogacy agency.

Independent Surrogate

Here, the couple chooses a family, friend, or surrogate who doesn’t belong to an agency. The couple manages everything themselves, including screening the surrogate, as well as finding an egg donor and IVF clinic. They are also in charge of helping the surrogate through the course of the pregnancy process. This gives prospective parents more control over the decisions and people involved along the way and is less costly when compared to using an agency.

Agency Surrogacy

A surrogacy agency is like a one-stop shop for all things surrogacy. It provides prospective parents with several services, including surrogates, options for medical screening, background checks for surrogates, legal agreements, parental rights, psychological screening, and access to fertility clinics.  This makes it easier for the couple to streamline the whole surrogacy process.

Whether you choose agency surrogacy or independent route, there’s a lot to consider. An agency can certainly help streamline the process, but it can cost you. Whichever option the couple goes for, this must be done carefully, and legal documents must be signed to protect all parties involved. 

Surrogate Requirements

According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, a surrogate should:

• Be between the ages of 21 and 45.
• Have carried at least one child to term without complications. 
• Not have had more than five previous deliveries or three deliveries via cesarean section.
• Have a stable environment with adequate support to help her cope with the stress of pregnancy.

Surrogacy Legal Considerations For Gay Couples

Surrogacy laws differ from state to state. In the USA, surrogacy legality is unclear in Nebraska and Louisiana. This is because surrogacy itself is legal, but compensated surrogacy is not. This means you can only use a surrogate you know or someone who will not require any form of compensation. If you can’t find one, you may have to move to a different state to find one. 

To protect all parties, the couple, surrogate, and surrogacy agency (if used) should have independent legal counsel that can advise and represent them during the whole process. All documents, including a legal agreement, clearance letter, pre-birth order, an medical release, should be in place before any treatment begins. Moreover, privacy and confidentiality must be upheld to protect the information of all parties involved.  

Pre-birth Order

For gay couples, a pre-birth order is key. This is a legal petition that gives both parents a legal right to the child as soon as they are born. The pre-birth order is filed in court, but not all states have this provision. The PBO can be signed as soon as the surrogate is chosen, though some couples wait until the first trimester ends. 

The pre-birth order helps to avoid a situation where one of the parents (the one not donating sperm) has to go through the adoption process to have full parental rights. With the pre-birth order, the couple can also be in the delivery room during the birth, complete the birth certificate when the child is born, and add their names to it, as well as add the baby to their insurance plan.

Gestational Surrogacy Agreement

A gestational surrogacy agreement (GSA) is a legally binding contract signed by the couple and the parties. This contract outlines the nature of the relationship between the surrogate and the gay couple. This document establishes the parental rights of the couple and affirms that they will meet the surrogate’s costs. The agreement can also include:

• Tests that will be done
• How conception will occur
• Any restrictions on travel and nutrition
• What will happen if the couple separates or gets married
• Legal steps to take should there be a breach of contract

Before signing any agreements, have legal counsel look over the contract to ensure it protects each party in the process.

Finally

Starting a family isn't as straightforward for gay couples. Choosing surrogacy is a big decision, and there’s a lot that needs to be taken into account. The process can be costly, and there are legal requirements that need to be considered.